Peace of mind to me comes only when I accept life as it is. It hurts to achieve peace of mind, because to me it means to accept that the pain and sorrow will never leave, and that I should just give in and sleep with that ache in my mind. Peace of mind only ever comes when I am already engulfed in a pain that has ripped away my breath.
It only comes once I've sobbed myself to sleep, with hope that when I wake I will feel nothing for what made me beg for peace in the first place. What gives me peace of mind is always changing. Sometimes it comes in the form of a hug from a loved one, where I start to feel better almost immediately. Other times it comes in the form of exhausting myself through tears. I never look for peace of mind, my body simply forces whatever solution is deemed necessary onto me so I don't go mad.
Story by Kimberly Sarah Matthew
Photo by Sarah Hadi